Downsizing the Holidays

“It takes us three days just to decorate the outside for Christmas,” a good friend said. “Plus the tree and everything inside.”

Hmm, I wondered. Then I asked, “Why do you do it?”

“Well, we always have. And the grandchildren want it. But it’s getting mighty hard – dragging all that stuff out of storage, getting up on ladders…” my friend said.

Maybe because I’ve downsized my home several times or learned new traditions following divorce or loss of a loved one – or maybe I’m just lazy – but simple is good for me.

Often after divorce or loss of a loved one, we are encouraged to develop new practices, begin new traditions. Perhaps this holds true for our aging selves as well. So I invite you to look at the parts of the holidays that are particularly meaningful to you and let go of the rest.

In the height of my frenzy decades ago, the house had to be perfectly decorated (nine-foot live tree, of course) with presents beautifully wrapped. My daughter had six kinds of Christmas cookies baking or waiting to be iced. The Christmas newsletter had to go out. Church and music programs crowded the calendar.

Along with all this for me was the sense of having to do it – either from the expectations of others or the ones deeply ingrained in my head. Somewhere along the way, I learned I didn’t have to.

After children have left home or families have split up, some take the advice to “go on a cruise.” “Work at a soup kitchen.” Or just work – something I’ve done often on Christmas Day. For many years when it was just the two of us, my son and I went to a movie on Christmas Eve.

Now these are my lasting traditions, and they begin with Advent:

Before Thanksgiving, I make sure I have purchased the candles, three purple and one pink. I get out the Advent wreath and put fresh greenery on it. From the first Sunday of Advent, which usually falls close after Thanksgiving, through Christmas Day, I light the appropriate candle(s) and read from a daily devotion book. The third candle – pink – represents Joy and it has special meaning. My daughter was born on Joy Sunday, and she has brought me that throughout her life.

The first Sunday of Advent is also the Hanging of the Greens service in many churches. This is one of my favorites in the church calendar year. It’s bright, colorful, and family-oriented. It always stirs pleasant memories.

That weekend a fresh wreath goes on the front door with the Christmas mat out front. Russian tea is on the stove. I pull out the Christmas china to use whenever, and Handel’s “Messiah” and George Winston’s “December” start playing in my car. It’s amazing how helpful this music is when you’re stuck in Woodruff Road traffic!

If nothing else gets done, I’m good.

While I love family celebrations and will enjoy those whenever I can, I also appreciate stillness. If we are waiting for Love to be born into our world, how can we recognize It if we are not still? Are we too busy, stressed, or tired to receive surprises?

Last Christmas I received a diamond hidden in a box of jigsaw puzzle pieces, and my significant other and I had Christmas “dinner “at Waffle House. Who would have thought?