Senior Relationships

Many of have experienced early and/or long-term marriages, divorces, or deaths of a spouse. Maybe we’ve ventured down the dating path, navigating singles groups, well-intentioned friends, and the maze of dating apps. We’re leery of online scams and yet we still try – or we swear off and decide to be satisfied with our life as it is.

According to my friend, an eldercare attorney, many seniors (even in their 80’s and 90’s) find that special someone and opt to go to the altar. At this point he gives his “special friends” talk.

“Everyone wants companionship,” he says. “You can have a ‘special friend,’ but there’s no need to do anything legally.”

His reason: Marriage is a financial commitment to the other person, and not everything can be covered by a pre-nupt. Healthcare, for example.

At this point, he has my attention. Experiences with both my mother and my son have shown me the high cost and toll of long-term health care. The only “break” in terms of financial assistance is state Medicaid programs, where assets have to be basically gone. Thus one partner’s health care costs could essentially bankrupt both, leaving the care of the remaining spouse to adult children.

None of us wants that. If you’re like me, that’s something you’ve worked for throughout your life – to not be dependent on your children.

So if religious beliefs are not a block, then I agree with my attorney friend. Be with your “special friend” however you wish but remain separate legally.

Coming in two weeks: What is a commitment ceremony?

Also this month, tune in to Boomer Banter at heyboomer.biz for “Financial Health after 60.”